The Cross of Self-Awareness
What I learned today-again.
Sometimes it takes a few times working through a lesson before it completely sinks in.
Today, I learned to stop believing that because people are less understanding and introspective than I am about their own motivations, that I am more obligated, as a compassionate, loving and understanding person to compensate for the lack of self-awareness of others when they attack me or behave poorly toward me.
Forgiving people in my heart because they don’t know better is about finding a way to love people despite their ignorance. It’s not about tolerating their poor behavior. In some cases, this works best in their absence.
The obligations I have when I am more self-aware and understanding of the nature of the behaviors of others is to choose harmonious relationships with other self-aware, considerate human beings. Then, I can model the superiority of those relationships so that others can see the example and strive to emulate it.
I may feel for someone and for the hurt that person feels when lashing out at me because I understand what that person is doing has nothing to do with me, personally. That doesn’t excuse his or her behavior toward me, and I am doing both of us a disservice if I pretend that I owe anyone this. It doesn’t portend well for the future of my relationships if I give people the impression that the way they are treating me is acceptable behavior in a healthy relationship- regardless of their circumstances.
The world doesn’t get ahead through my codependency. It gets ahead through me moving forward and creating a magnificent life filled with loving, supportive, harmonious and enduring relationships.
If you already see more than others but you don’t share your vision, you aren’t doing the world any favors. If you hide your light, afraid it might offend or belittle others, the world will continue to stumble in darkness.
When I learn to apply this lesson personally, I can see how it can be applied universally.
Vindictive behavior in retaliation of myself and others not seeing the world a particular way shall not be tolerated. That is unacceptable in a healthy relationship.
Can you see where you may have been trying to compensate for the ignorance of others over the past two years (or longer) and how your compensation, compassion and silently tolerant understanding has only lead to more ignorance in that relationship?
If you’re not quite there, it may take just a little longer for it to sink in. The first step is to be patient and loving with yourself in this situation, turning your compassion and understanding inward. If you are in this situation, you are likely the only one who will.