WARNING: Bathroomish TMI forthcoming
For a few weeks and for no good reason, I stopped losing weight. I haven’t been able to sleep. From frustration, I started binge watching TV. I tried to lay down early several nights but couldn’t sleep. I gained five pounds. I had a cramp in my back one day that felt like the contractions I had in labor. I had some diarrhea, but it was before I started taking the horse de-wormer, so it wasn’t from that. Last night, my stomach swelled up like a balloon of gas, and even after my first early night to bed in over two weeks, I started crying, emotionally crying uncontrollably for no good reason.
What the fuck is the matter with me? I thought.
I started taking oils for moods and hormone regulation. I took the signature mood blend (some of you know what I am talking about-otherwise message me) of oils on my chest, my webs of my fingers, all my EFT tapping points and took the purple oil capsules for calming the fuck down. In a few minutes, I was calm and stopped crying.
Finally, some relief.
However, my belly still looked as if it would explode. It seemed to get bigger and bigger as the night went on, so I used the digestive blend capsules, the enzyme capsules and rubbed the digestive oil blend on my belly and back where the gas pains were most acute. All was to no avail. When I was finally comfortable enough to lay down, doing so made me feel like I would shit my pajamas. So I spent the first hour after laying down (which was already hours past my bedtime) running back and forth to the bathroom in futility. I released a little gas here and there, but otherwise, the need to go would pass the second I stood up. It was like having a fucking urinary tract infection in my ass.
Again, I thought, what the fuck is wrong with me?
I thought maybe since we were nearing the full moon and in addition to all the antimicrobial, anti-parasitic protocols I have been using, it may have been an unexpected benefit of taking the infamous horse de-wormer for the past few days. So this must be the result of microbial die-off symptoms, I thought. The parasites shed their biofilms before the full moon and the zinc, supplements and de-wormer finally zapped those little bastards! At least, I hoped that was the reason for all this suffering.
This morning, I woke up really late. I was supposed to be on a call at 10am, but when I woke, it was after 10. I ran into the living room in a panic to get on my call. I could feel residual gas moving around but otherwise, good. Overall, I felt better than the night prior. After the call, I felt the instinctual desire to jump up, put on some jeans and cut back all the grapevines in the back yard. I still needed to do some work on my computer, so I suppressed that instinct. However, I found it strange after weeks of feeling like I couldn’t pull myself off the couch that I craved yard work. I took my morning vitamins before standing on my vibration plate where I noticed a very old, familiar feeling from days gone by.
My period came back. Suddenly, I remembered a lifetime of being “off” for a couple days per month leading up to my monthly period, experiencing bloating, emotional swings, lack of motivation, diarrhea and all these minor symptoms relating to PMS. In the past, though, PMS wasn’t several weeks long nor did I turn into a blimp of gas. In the past, I also had a regular monthly period. This year, I haven’t had my period in about 7 months! So, THAT’S what this is!
As happy as I was for the answer to my biology seemingly turning against me, at first I was not pleased that this means that it will be at least one more year before I can say I am in menopause. Perimenopause has been a bitch, and this past few weeks have been just one more reason why I am so looking forward to it being over and done for good. The hotflashes come and go, sometimes incessantly, sometimes sporadically, and come to think of it, they haven’t been coming so much at all for several weeks. I guess that has been my single upside to the past few weeks. With my period starting, it makes sense that my hotflashes stopped. Wow! One more dot connected! You see. I now have all the answers to explain everything, but they aren’t the answers I wanted. Not that I wanted to have to get more medical tests to figure out why I still wasn’t losing weight and was even starting to gain weight despite strict adherence to protocols, even adding saunas and detox baths. However, I was looking forward to the end of hotflashes, the end of weight gain, the end of moodswings, the end of diarrhea, the end of zits and the end of terrible gas. I am not looking forward to another year of yo-yo mood swings, intermittent hotflashes and two to three week long bouts of PMS. Most of all, I want an end to periods. I deserve an end to periods. If nothing else, at least I must have earned that.
So this wasn’t the breakthrough I was hoping for, but it may turn out to be the breakthrough I needed. First, it may save me a fortune in testing. It’s nice to know that before this severely long PMS, I was losing weight normally and that I didn’t stop losing weight because something was “wrong.” What would be really nice, though, and totally possible, would be to lose like 5-10lbs over the next week like I used to after I got through my period. If by the end of the week, I weigh 140lbs, I will be pretty stoked about everything I just went through. If my yard is done being weeded and grapevines cut back, on top of a big weightloss, that will be an added bonus! As I am starting my live broadcasts again this week, my husband is helping me to finish setting up my website and most importantly, setting up my store where you can find all my original tee shirt designs as well as my reading list and a bunch of other healthful recommendations.
Today, Monday, October 18th, 2021 may be the first day of my period, but it also may be the best day of my life so far. Furthermore, everything I do today may lead to many more consecutive best ever days! That, my friends, is worth getting excited about.
“You can’t always get what you want. Sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.” ~The Stones
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