SYTB 24: Boundaries Are Not Binary

There's always more choices than you imagine.

This may be the toughest pill in the entire course.

If you are often saying, '“yes” to people to help them or save them from desperate situations, you are playing God in their lives from a very small perspective of what God is.

If you were truly operating from a Godly perspective, you would see infinite solutions to every problem: not just you physically swooping in and saving the day at the expense of your own Divinely inspired vision for your own life. God is, after all, infinite. He almost entirely outsources His own work through others, 8 billion of them to be exact.

I gendered God. Use your own pronouns where necessary.

You are not the only tool in God’s toolbox. From a Godly perspective, you would see there are more answers to the problems of others than just you. You would also see there are BETTER solutions to the problems of others than you. You would see that your myopic perspective coming from lack is validating the myopic perspectives of others coming from lack. You are in effect perpetuating smallness in the lives of others by helping them see their problems as binary or yourself as their singular solution. You are virtually saying, “if you don’t choose me as your salvation in this matter, you will be doomed.” Is that what you truly believe? I know some people believe God would say that about Him (Her-OR gender non binary) Self. (I can’t picture God, the Allness from which the Universe sprang with genitals.) That’s how many people interpret scriptures: pick this legalistic, dogmatic religion or spend eternity in torment and suffering. Those people also have very small and limited ideas of God. One thing is certain: God would never make you the solitary solution for the salvation of another. On that, we can all agree.

Thinking long term, let me ask you a question. How much help do you think that your limited thinking generates in the world? In your world? In the world of those you are “helping”?

When someone asks for your help, consider those questions. Consider whether your heart is pounding with the need to say “yes” to save someone from their own life. Consider why this may be so. What’s the rush? What’s the urgency? It never hurts to ask for time to think about a proposal. There’s always time, even when it seems there is not. If someone has a big ask, maybe it’s a ride somewhere out of the blue without prior notice. I don’t know what seems “big” in your world. You can always ask for enough time to think about it. There actually is an Uber service ecstatic to help someone in such a situation, too. You know? Unless this person assumes you are their personal Uber service, sitting on your ass just waiting for their call, they should consider your need to see if you can find the time a reasonable response. I hate to sound crazy or bombastic but… If people ask you to jump and they don’t allow you the time to see if you can clear your schedule and they think you should immediately drop everything for them and ask “how high?”- FUCK THEM. There’s your permission. You are welcome.

You aren’t asking for time merely to assert your value to them and string them along. When you have time and space, you can consider creative solutions to problems. You can ask yourself if your involvement in the affairs of others is helpful, is necessary and is contributing long term to the expansiveness of humanity. You can start to think from a Godly perspective. You can start to stretch your own understanding of what is possible.

As I am writing this course, we have wars all over the world we could effect directly and positively by requesting our governments stop bombing foreigners. Yet, many today are so eager to use more war and bombs to counter the warring and bombing of others. I’m no expert on military intelligence, but it seems to me that whenever we could create less collateral damage and employ less destruction or employ hesitation as a tool, the media keeps pretty quiet. However, when they want us to do something that will just add more bombs, more destruction of property and more collateral damage, then the media is pretty eager to get everyone on board. It’s almost as if the media are just the marketing arm of the military industrial complex. But like I said, I’m not the expert on military intelligence. I am, though, the expert on boundaries. If someone you know and like (love, even) is asking for intervention, it’s not just fair and reasonable to ask for time to consider more alternatives to your direct intervention. It’s RESPONSIBLE to do so.

The first thing to be done (for your own sake and for the sake others whom you hold influence) is to expand your personal perspective on the world of infinite possibilities.

Grab your journal.

Write down 10 ways you could come into $1 million without earning it through hard labor and personal savings. Only one gift allowed.

Obviously, winning a lottery could be one of those. There’s your freebie. What else can you come up with?

The thing is, this exercise can be much harder than one might imagine. It’s because we have some limited ideas of how things can possibly happen. We have been trained through schools to be binary thinkers. And until we get a very clear idea of the limitless possibilities in the universe available to us in any given situation from our own personal experiences, we have no business playing God in the lives of others.

Read that last sentence again.

You are not the solution if you are perpetuating lack. You instead have become a new problem for others, a stumbling block for their insecurities. All would be lost in their world if it weren’t for you always bailing them out. They never learn to become self-reliant if they rely on you, and all the bounty that achievement of self-reliance can afford them will never be theirs either. This is called “codependency.” I won’t go too deep into it since there are already several extremely reputable books on the subject including but not limited to Melody Beattie’s “Codependent No More.”

The bigger issue is that we often see everything as an exchange. You likely see these situations as a “yes” to them and a “no” to you. If you can work out how saying “yes” to someone else in a binary proposal helps both of you and fits in your boundaries for your infinite vision of your life and expands consciousness of possible solutions, then great. Go for it! However, if you see that the entire concept of binary proposals are self-defeating and perpetuate a limiting belief system that hasn’t served you to buy into, you would never play the game of life again from binary thinking.

The only true way to benefit the world is to start sharing more limitless perspectives and to share with others and help others from this Godly idea that there is more than one answer or two answers to every problem.

Share in the comments below some answers to the consciousness expanding assignment I gave you today. Let’s see how many of us can come up with various solutions that our friends hadn’t thought of yet!

Let’s start helping the world by expanding the consciousness of others.