Stay Vigilant!
An update and reminder for parents
This coming week, I’ll be at a funeral and there will be no Well Being Wednesday broadcast.
Meanwhile, here is my reminder to parents everywhere.
Mama Bear energy today!
There was a time in my past wherein, I replay the event in my mind and wish I had it to do over.
I was in a thrift store in Falls Church (coincidentally the town where that creep Tony Podesta lives). I had been looking at the kids’ clothes while my kids, very young at the time (2 & 4 years old) played in this little boxed off toy section nearby. As I stood there, I noticed two gentlemen. One was in the area where the home goods are, it’s generally a rather unpopular area. Don’t see people linger there very long usually, but he was walking at too brisk a pace to really be shopping. I went about my business. The other fellow, seemed to know him, though they weren’t interacting. I just got the sense somehow they were together.
The second guy was extremely weird looking. If you ever saw the movie, I think it was called Little Children, that greasy haired, short, wirey statured, pedo guy, he looked like him. But my first thought, as one is prone to think seeing someone with a greasy comb over is, I wonder if he has some kind of mental condition, handicap or whatnot. I went about my business shopping.
But about 10 minutes later, he was standing near the kids clothes section and fiddling with something. As I was facing my children and he was behind me, I glanced over to notice he had a very peculiar looking, small tan colored video camera. It was like none I’d ever seen. I wondered if he picked it up on the electronics section and was testing it out. But as I looked closer, he was facing away from me, I could see that on the screen he was taking videos of my kids, like a selfie but not directed at himself, but over his shoulder, at my kids. Since I was nearly between him and my kids, I stepped over two steps to my left so that I would be center frame. He abruptly stopped filming as he recognized he had an audience.
Still, I was concerned about him. I didn’t want to be a bigot if he was handicapped so I kept my mouth shut, but I called a store clerk over tp help me and asked her prices of the children clothing items I was looking at. I knew full well what they were. And I started asking if she thought various items would look good on my kids, pointing them out so that they had both of our full attention. We stood there talking about my kids and the shifty first guy kept pacing across the store. After about 15 minutes of me and the store clerk obsessing over my children, they both eventually went away.
About 5 minutes later, a Mexican guy came in the store and wandered over to the toy section and started trying to talk to my kids. I did not suspect he was with the first guys because he shared no resemblance to them. But, as he talked to them, he eventually put his hand out and petted one of my sons on the cheek.
I said abruptly, “he has autism and can’t understand you.” I walked over to the kids and packed them back up in my stroller. They were screaming their faces off because they wanted to keep playing with the toys, but I could no longer take the risk that the greasy dude hadn’t broadcasted my kids on video to a pedo ring boss who sent in “back up” to make a second attempt at trying to get their hands on my boys. Women in thrift stores are often lower income and therefore more vulnerable. It might be a consideration among traffickers. The kids’ screaming got us a lot of public attention, and though uncomfortable, made us all much safer.
I wished I had spoke up to the guy with the camera and said something. I wished I had told the guy who touched my child to take his hands off. I was trying to be polite, imagining cultural differences and my own insensitivity to a potentially mentally handicapped guy who was unintentionally video taping my children. But while all my alarms were going off, I froze fearing that I was being insensitive to a less privileged person than myself.
Four weeks ago, I took our kids to our Freedom Cell meet-up at a local golf course cafe. The place is usually empty but for random players coming in and out to grab coffee or a snack between rounds of golf. My boys usually pick their own table nearby to sit at, eat breakfast and play video games on their own devices whilst our group discusses whatever is on our agenda for the week.
A couple old guys came over that day and started talking to our boys. This is somewhat unusual, however our boys are gregarious and spoke with them. Then, I noticed one of them reach out his hand and grab my youngest by the cheek and pinch it, and before I could say anything, I watched him pull and twist my son’s skin. My son, of course, 9 years old, jerked back and said that it hurt. And before I could even do anything, the asshole took off in a hurry.
I asked my kids to come over immediately and they were both upset. Junah’s cheek was dark red. I was furious! I hadn’t said anything, but I told the boys on the way home, “never let a stranger touch you!” I said, “if someone tries to touch you, say, ‘get your hands OFF me!!!’” I told them to be very direct. I was so mad at myself that it happened so quick, and I had not stopped the guy and protected my kids.
Today, my husband was with me, and we had just entered the cafe. I was still getting situated when I looked up. The boys who had still been standing at our table were speaking aggressively to this same asshole who had his hands forcefully gripping each of their shoulders standing behind them. My husband had been a month ago told of the altercation with that guy, but as we had sat down, I was caught somewhat off guard. As soon as I noticed that he was not letting go of them, I said from across the table, “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY KIDS!!!” And Aaron who was next to them, immediately yanked the man’s hand off Junah’s shoulder. The old man put his other hand up as well, gesturing surrender, and looked at me like I was crazy, holding up his hands, and said, “ok” and again, he walked out of there instantly.
I couldn’t believe the nerve of this fucking predator. He was about 70, and one of our friends suggested it was merely because he was old. However, this man is no older than my mother, and no one in my mother’s generation walked up to the children of strangers, whom they do not know, and laid hands on them. That was not an old custom of a bygone generation. I would have remembered strangers or old people touching me if that were a thing. It was not.
There are sadists in this world, and they use their age and other things that we feel privileged about to exploit the kindness of others in order to perpetrate their evil on the world. I believe, as does my husband, this was one such predator.
I don’t know if you have seen the video of Joe Biden touching women and children inappropriately, and the excuse is that on account of his age, he just doesn’t know better. That does not hold water for me.
There was never an age where a man smelling a woman’s hair (who is not his wife) and pressing himself against her backside was acceptable. There was never an age where fondling children or grabbing them in areas that make them uncomfortable for pictures or any other reason was acceptable.
Same with the Dalai Lama and his bullshit. Suggesting some notion that this behavior is merely on account of age or culture is exactly that. It’s a fucking exploitation of position, power, or other people’s sensitivity to your age or cultural differences that predators use to perpetrate misbehavior toward vulnerable people.
At any rate, as a parent, you always have to be vigilant.
My friend recently pointed out the dangers of taking kids to a modeling agency. Those dangers are everywhere around us every day, perpetrated when parents have their guard down. So, if you take your kids to a modeling agency, be vigilant. But don’t let it down in the grocery store or Sunday school.
My suggestion, my plea in all this is to be vigilant. There’s no space where you should be less nervous about these kinds of people. They say that most children are harmed by someone the parents know and trust. That says a lot. We can all do more to keep our kids from becoming one of those statistics. They are really high.
Stay vigilant. And especially around people you are most afraid of offending. *cough cough Pride month* That’s just the kind of weakness predators look to exploit.