I gave advice to a friend today. It is just a good general reminder to myself hence the share. This is very applicable in Autumn for those like myself who are motivated to declutter and make progress in our lives as the weather cools down. Heat makes me sluggish. That’s just how my body reacts. The cooler weather is typically invigorating and motivating for me to clear the space to start new projects.
My friend has a toddler at this time and is feeling the urge to do more and be more while conflicted with the every day realities of being a mom at home with a very young child. Honestly, with a toddler, I was just sacked all day, and there were some clear issues I had (which I explained in my book basically) regarding how to deal with post partum obstacles. I didn’t start to feel like myself until my youngest was four. I remind young mothers of this often (or in my case, old mothers starting late).
Give yourself the grace of acknowledging where you are at developmentally as a new mother the same way you would for your child.
I personally had to reprioritize people and boundaries in my life. I noticed what philosophies didn’t serve me. I even (shocking) became an anarchist because I realized how much useless energy was wasted on paying constant, frustrated attention on what the state was doing, how it was doing it and caring about it as if I had any say or stake in the matter.
So, whatever your plans, I totally believe you can do them now, BUT give yourself the grace and clarity to prioritize. Because just about everything comes down to prioritizing.
I have made myself daily checklists and been *happy* to check off half. I have focused on the checklist I got done and not that I did not. I also started to look at the thing I wasn’t getting done repeatedly day after day. I categorized those items as either:
A. a challenge that would be placed first on the list tomorrow and/or conquering the fear of that item (via EFT, prayer treatment or journaling) placed first on the list before prioritizing the neglected item in second position tomorrow
OR
B. as something that was irrelevant, that I no longer needed to burden myself with by writing it on the list every day to feel guilty or wrong for not completing after weeks or months of adding it to my lists.
So keep an eye out for what those things are and how you feel about them. That will tell you everything you need to know and do.
Things that are not done and are not relevant right now (B) may be distracting us from the things we need to get done today. Even if this item is something we wish and hope for, it may not be an essential focus for this quarter. If you break goals down quarterly, big ones, you may start your quarter with five big goals, but you should recognize that three is optimal for most really successful people. The remaining two may be for next quarter or even next year. Doing the lesser priority goals simultaneously with the top three could just mean that it takes longer than a quarter to hit your other three primary goals. The main thing is that if you don’t hit listed goals within a certain amount of time, discouragement sets in. That will make it much harder and longer to achieve anything.
I want to add a side note on the size of goals we choose for annual or quarterly goals. When broken down into steps, those steps may be large goals in themselves. In that case, I have found a goal I thought was one of three for the year ended up containing all three goals in itself. It has been valuable to be able to acknowledge this to myself by saying, “Woh! This was a way bigger project than I imagined and is going to take a lot more steps to get there. I need to give myself more time on this item which will restructure my plans for the year.” After that, I can sit down a reschedule accordingly.
So start small, watch the check marks accumulate, feel happy, remove burdens, conquer fears, apply grace, reschedule as needed and know you are worthy of the respect that your priorities afford you!
Make good choices and feel good about them!