Life Will Throw Curveballs

And it's just what you needed.

Before I have even finished my revolutionary course, “Say ‘Yes’ To Boundaries,” Life came in and threw me a curveball.

One of my sons has been struggling with his emotions, really struggling. Both my boys have been doing stuff that crosses a line between violent and non violent behavior. Their emotions seem to be the trigger, and I felt ill equipped as a parent to give them tools for handling their emotions. I felt so helpless as I went to bed last night thinking, I need to find our family a counselor to teach us how to help our kids handle their strong feelings. It felt like I was just out of my depth, try as I may. It also felt like one more thing on a calendar of a family with very little budget for time and another stress on my finances with an even smaller budget for discretionary spending. I have felt overwhelmed lately managing my own time (and money) when all these little eruptions between my children kept coming up. What will it cost us if we have to go to the ER? As I shared a week ago, an altercation came up in which my youngest son was accidentally pushed very hard down an entire flight of stairs. There are very edgy occurrences lately in which my kids are confronted with emotional situations and their rash reactions and fight or flight responses are leading to potentially harmful and deadly consequences.

Every family goes through their phases. Some people just shrug and say, “kids are kids” or “boys will be boys.” Trust me, I want my kids to experience wild freedom. I want them to enjoy playing rough and interacting. I also want them to learn where the line is. I also want them to be safe people for themselves and others. I also want them to grow to become responsible, caring adults.

I hear Jordan Peterson often talk about the importance of rough and tumble play for young children of ages two to four. They require it as part of the boundary building development. Somehow I thought I was above that kind of rowdiness. We skipped it. Aaron was working 24/7, and I didn’t want to risk myself getting hurt. I thought their dad would be the one to do that, but he did not have the time with his work schedule. I have a very girlish aversion to getting hurt and the chaotic energy of fighting. I made excuses not to fulfill my obligation to my children’s development. Rough and tumble play necessarily involves getting hurt but hopefully not broken in a safe environment. It’s where kids explore physical boundaries and find the physical limits between fun and pain in themselves and others. It also teaches them empathy. This is what my kids missed: critical boundary training. Now, trying to do rough and tumble play with an almost 8 and 10 year old is not the same. It’s not a phase one can get a redo on later.

So… I woke up this morning with the awareness that what my kids require at this stage is to learn boundaries. Who better for my kids to learn from than me as I’ve spent the past year building the techniques to make boundaries for adults so simple, even a child could understand them. All I need to do is to put it to the test. Is my course simple enough for a child to understand, follow and implement? If not, how can I enhance it. Then, how can I scale it to share with other parents and kids? when you think about it, this is probably what a gazillion single moms need or other families that missed the crucial lessons in boundaries from early rough and tumble play.

Learning through intellectual processes may never replace the lessons one would get during developmentally suitable toddler years from fucking around and finding out. However, I can’t just give up hope that we can know better and do better. I believe my kids can still learn more physical empathy for themselves and others. They can learn the importance of bodily integrity and respecting the integrity of others. I think they can learn more about how their bodies move in space and how the right amount of space is required for certain activities without getting hurt or hurting others. I know that with some extra effort, even now, they’ll be able to get the nugget from those lessons they would have learned that I missed teaching them in their toddler years.

So, coming soon: Say “Yes” To Boundaries For Parents and Kids.

I’m going to say a little prayer about myself as capable in this endeavor. I am more than capable. I am spectacular!

Prayer About Rising To The Calling, April 16th, 2022

The Creator is sufficient in abundantly opulent ways. I look around today at the blue sky, the sun and the variety of flowers on Easter Weekend, a time of reflection upon resurrection. We could have had 20 different types of flowers, but there are as many as 230,000 identified varieties of flowering plants so far! It is estimated that there may be as many as 400,000 flowering plant varieties total or more. No one knows for sure! It’s possible on earth today that half the flowering species of plants still remain to be identified! The wonders of this world continue to astound us and baffle us. The surplus of beauty and ornamentation much of which have medicinal and nutritional properties never ceases.

We are surrounded on earth literally with a verdant garden of life giving, health giving, fragrance giving, nourishing and joy bringing, aesthetic delights! I am part of this magnificent creation. I am given the ability to create. It is infinitely bestowed in me as an active participant in Creation Itself. I have chosen to be an active part of Creation as an inheritor of Divine gifts. I take Jesus seriously when he says, “Ye are Gods!” I stop waiting on outside miracles and wonders, and I turn within to that within me which created the ceaseless supply of flowering plants on earth, hundreds of thousands potentially remain as of yet unidentified. I am One with this Mastery of Creation. The things I am called to create also bring joy, peace, harmony, health, healing, wellbeing, victory and an as of yet unidentified number of values and benefits.

I am of value. I am creating value. I am heeding the call and putting the ideas of this Master into creation through me. I am taking it upon myself to say “yes” to the call and fulfill that which was put in my heart and mind to create with, in and of this Life I have been given. Today, I put away the old me, the small me, knowing it was never who I was. I rise up to this call to be limitless, to be in constant creation of all that is new and birthing blessings into this world. I say, “yes!”

I release this powerful affirmative “yes” energy into the Universe, with excitement and wonder knowing it will transform me and others into better creators and better mothers and better fathers and better friends and better sisters, brothers, sons and daughters. I am so thankful for this life and these callings and Divine Inspiration to share!

I know I can do it. I feel I can do it. I see I can do it. And so it is done!

Amen!