My youngest son Junah is turning 8 years old on Friday. We are so happy to celebrate him. He wasn’t always the easy, happy go lucky and agreeable boy he is today. In fact, up until a year ago, he was the most contrary contrarian who ever lived. I called him Guantanamo as an infant because he never let me sleep and was constantly, insatiably miserable if I wasn’t giving him 200% of my attention. But, he really helped me understand my priorities and value where my attention was going in order to optimize my time and attention moving forward.
You see, before Junah, I went out of my way, spending all of my energy trying to become perfect to please people who could not be pleased with me no matter how healthfully I handled their control tactics and abuse. Junah was unignorably demanding of the attention I placed on the wrong people. He was also rightfully worthy of my attention, although, a little less intensity from him would have been nice. Chances are, had he not been so loud and shrill and unnerving, I would never have realized how much I needed to divert my attention entirely to him-and by default from the drama of my family.
So, Junah was my greatest teacher of boundaries, as he started me on this journey leading me to where I am today.
Boundaries help prioritize what you place your attention on more than what you are trying to block, defend and keep out. Any efforts to do the later without a good former in place are nearly futile. For this reason, I always recommend to those who have boundary issues to discover what it is they want to focus on, grow or achieve in their lives.
To find out more on boundaries, check out my series Say “Yes” to Boundaries or on Healing The Division of Covidiacy, starting with these links.
As always, thank you for your subscription, for making the world a better place and by focusing on all the good stuff you have put IN your boundaries!
Also, Happy Birthday to Junah, my little guru.