Dear Will and Jada,

I'll take your fresh prints.

I have a condition in which I pluck my eyebrows. It's considered a mental condition in medical literature, but there is substantial physical evidence that it's from a particular type of natural parasite on the skin in excessive quantities. When I treat it as the latter, my treatment is effective. If I am vigilant with my diet and antiparasitic skin care regimen, I don't have the swelling, sores and irritation which drives me to pluck them.

Over the years, I have had people ask why I have "no eyebrows" in a very mean way, with the intent to insult me. Even when all my eyebrows are filled in, they are blonde and people often don't see them. I don't care. If you are trying to make fun of me, the joke is on you. If you found a way to make it legitimately funny, I will laugh with you. I love to laugh. Also, regardless of what anyone else thinks or how they see me, I could shave my eyebrows clean off and feel very good about myself, feel very pretty.

I have been teased about various aspects of my looks and personality all my life. I have gone through pretty and ugly phases off and on. My worst experience was from a skin disease from a bacteria in the well water which I picked up in France. It created massive open sores all over my face. In France, people are very rude. They will point at you from across the street to laugh at your skin condition. It was shocking how little couth I witnessed in France for all its cultural bravado.

However, I haven't been hurt or offended by the comments or actions of others with relation to my physical appearance since I was in junior high or early high school. There I was bullied and ostracized for my appearance, and it hurt to experience that as a child.

Since I am no longer a child, I take the behaviors of others in regard to my physical appearance either as the joke of which they were intended or if intentionally cruel or hurtful as a reflection upon the person saying them.

Now, the only way I can imagine someone of my age or older being seriously upset about some blight upon their perfect visage is some fucking serious level of privilege. Like, you have been so pretty or perfect your whole life that this little nothing thing is offending you or you are allowing yourself to be bent about it-as an adult?

Now, imagine most people have been ugly off and on in their lives, less than perfect for most of us. Imagine these normal people looking at you now, still extremely model-esque watching you get bent about some minor thing affecting ONLY how you see yourself. I am losing obvious hair ON MY FACE, yet, we are not the same. What's different than a fit, skinny gal complaining to her heavy set friend about gaining 2 lbs? Know your audience when seeking sympathy. Imagine using the thing for which you are upset which is difficult for others, (maybe they have an unshapely bald head or are not pretty enough to carry off baldness) and using their situation as your excuse to be upset publicly and furthermore to physically assault others over it.

I look at this whole thing in wonder. How do people look to this person for lessons in life, lessons in self talk, lessons in personal growth who can't take a joke about her perfect and privileged physical appearance- especially when it wasn't even comparing her to something ugly and clearly intended as nothing more than a joke? Seriously, do you remember how many women shaved their heads in the 90's in order to look like Demi Moore in GI Jane?

This grown woman-child needs to get a fucking grip. People need to stop sharing her perspectives as anything to aspire to. She's obviously full of shit and whatever shit she got isn't together.

Come at me, Will. Start with the four-eyed woman with no eyebrows.