Two days ago, I dug up some more weeds to reveal a bunch of beets and tomato plants.
Then after digging today, I found two unidentified plants- probably more varieties of weeds. I ALSO found hundreds of microgreens, namely arugula. My arugula that went to seed months ago dropped seeds into the nearby weeds- hundreds of seeds. Now, I have hundreds of baby arugula plants everywhere.
Arugula is one of my favorite foods mostly because it’s been the fastest, largest and easiest growing. My favorite things have always been those that have come naturally and effortlessly to me. This, this was effortless. I left it alone, and in my neglect, it went gangbusters all through the weeds. It left me with an abundant harvest.
It’s got me thinking of how hard it was and how much effort I put into my book. The words came easily to me. They were practically planted in my brain without any effort on my part EXCEPT the willingness and the space to allow them to fall onto the page. The part that was arduous and took great effort was all the editing, the formatting and my dedication to the outcome of these effortless words getting to the world.
I forget sometimes how much work it is to weed, to prepare the soil and to plant the seeds that will become the food of my future. I forget the sacrifice of time to become the space for what is to flow effortlessly through me. I forget the effort I made to gather all the arugula and turn it into pesto.
One of my favorite things about me is that if any part of the process flows effortlessly from me, through me or for me, I dive in and see it through. I feel it’s a signal of a calling for me of sorts.
I also have dabbled in things that did not come easily. I have worked on things diligently that never felt natural or effortless and that never really took root. I wonder if the effort was worthless or if it was useful in some way that I am still not privy to. I will say this: the soil that I couldn’t seem to grow anything in for the past year has grown weeds and now arugula.
Do you ever think about jigsaw puzzles? I will work on them and put a piece in here or there until I start to see what the picture looks like. Sometimes, I get stuck. I walk away from it, and when I come back, I see where all the pieces fit into place. Maybe it’s the same with these things I struggle with or with which I struggle to see their purpose. Maybe, I’ll know when to revisit things I have abandoned, things that I could never understand how to fit into my life. At that point, maybe they’ll seem to fit, and I can see their place in the big picture.
I have been thinking a lot lately about my Russian language practice and starting it up again. I can’t say how it will fit into my future or if it will start to come easier to me. I can, however, do what I feel inclined and let nature take its course.